Saturday, January 2, 2010

A New Beginning

Happy 2010!

It's always about a 50/50 chance that I'll be able to stay awake until midnight in order to "ring" in the new year. This time, I made it to 11 PM before calling it quits, turning off the tv after watching 3 episodes of last season's '24' on dvd, rolling over and falling asleep.

I'm not one to go out and party till the cows come home. Never have been, most likely never will be. I had not been feeling 100% anyway, I'd come down with a moderate sore throat earlier in the week, which developed into a minor head cold. I say minor, because Sam made me some awesome matzo ball soup and I am positive that the soup healed me. I felt better the next day - sore throat gone, very little congestion, just a small dry cough lingering about.

New Year's Eve, we made a tofu stir-fry to dinner, opened a bottle of our favorite dining wine - a fume blanc from Grgich Hills, and finished off dinner with a red velvet cupcake from Icing On The Cupcake, a place I discovered a few months ago in nearby Rocklin. OMG is all I have to say about their cupcakes.

I woke up on January 1st, early, the day was gray. A light rain was falling. I stood at the door from my bedroom looking out onto the patio, watching the rain make plip plops and spreading rings in the pool. I thought about where I was exactly 12 months earlier, on 1/1/09. On that date, I was in a deep depression, very unusual for me. I was living at my parents' home in Carmel Valley, I had been laid off from my job of 13 years, my farm in Oregon was up for sale, my daughter was living far away in Israel and, for the first time in her life, we had been apart at Christmas. I had no idea what 2009 would bring for me. No job, little hope, given the state of the economy.

One year later, I stood in my own (rented) home, was 10 months into a wonderful job that I enjoy, my daughter (and her boyfriend) was asleep in the spare bedroom, and my farm had been sold. I reflected on all of this, and knew that my deep and abiding faith in God had supported me during this past year. Even within the depths of despair, depression, whining, moping....I keep my faith and know that things will always work out. And so it does.

Sam is leaving again in a few months. She's returning to Israel to start a life with Ari there. I hope and pray that they will come back and live in the U.S. I cannot deny that is what my wish is. But regardless of where she lives, I want her to be happy and so I hope and I pray for this for her. Happiness. Joy. Love. Peace within.

I am excited now. I can't wait to see how 2010 unfolds. There are new adventures ahead, I feel it!!